Today I completely messed with the forces of nature that cause little children to place such great and unwavering trust in their parents. I - a mother who is supposed to guard the psyche of her fragile young ones - played a joke on my oldest child. Apparently, it wasn't funny.
"Mom watch. When we get to this red light, I'm going to put some water in my mouth and open my mouth without the water spilling out". (He was drinking from the water cup I often take with me in the car)
Right as he placed the cup to his mouth the light turned green. Never one to miss a good opportunity, I stepped on the gas, thinking I'd give him a little "splash" on the chin.
The splash turned out to be a bath.
Hysterical crying ensued, accompanied by a look that said, "You're my mother. You gave me life. How could you do this to me?"
I told Kirby I was sorry, that I'd only meant to splash him a little as a joke. It should be said here that this child is sweet and funny and fun...but he doesn't have much of a sense of humor in the traditional sense of the phrase. Very few jokes that involve him (unless he's delivering the punch line) go over well.
"Kirby, I feel terrible. I did not mean to get you wet like that. I thought it would just splash your chin a little. I was just trying to be funny. How come my jokes never go over well with you?"
"Well, (still crying) because some jokes are bad jokes. And some jokes are good jokes. But some jokes are just confusing!"
Me: "That was a confusing joke, wasn't it?"
Kirby: "That WAS a confusing joke!" (collapse into sobs)
Wow. Pretty articulate for a 5 year old. Thankfully, when I got home from class tonight, the boys were still up, so I got a chance to kiss him good night and apologize one more time.
"I'm sorry about the joke today."
"That's okay, Mom."
"But Kirby, now that you think about it, isn't it kind of funny? Doesn't it make you want to laugh?"
"No." (seriously?)
"Did you tell Daddy about the joke?"
"Yes."
"Did Daddy laugh?"
"No."
"What's with you guys? How come nobody appreciates a good joke around here?"
"Well...ah...because it was a BAD joke, mom."
Okay, so I'm not quite the "hit" I would like to think I am. That's the last time I try my comedy routine from the front seat of my mini-van. I've been humbled.
4 comments:
I think it was kind of funny...but, then again, I'm sort of sick in the head. (Totally something I would do, too, by the way.)
I LOVE IT. That is such a Jennifer. I'm glad you play jokes on your kids, you sure played plenty on your Old Cousins'. Remember when we had Evan drink the Milk of Magnesia because we wanted to laugh at the mustache it made on his little face? Today he is 19 and when I tell him what Cousin Jen and Aunt Kristi used to do, he just shakes his head and says "we're all nuts from the same family tree!"
This pretty much sums up my childhood. No one thought Jen's jokes were as funny as Jen did. Although this one was a little funny.
At least it wasn't as 'confusing' as the time you told me to bite on tin foil when I first got my braces, or had heather eat moldy Karo syrup!
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