It's That Time Again...

It's that time again - time for a new semester to begin. I have now been at this long enough (going into my 4th semester) that I can recognize some patterns in my own behavior (for lack of a better word). Here's how it goes down:

• Enjoying a break from things hanging over my head, I can easily convince myself that the start of school is far away.
• Slowly, a knot begins to form in my stomach. This knot is made up of stress, excitement, and sadness.
• Two weeks before school starts I still haven't looked to see what books I need, because if I don't buy them then everything stays the way it is. About this time, I begin to get edgy and feel like all of my friends are on a special trip together and I'm not going. This is because they are! They are continuing their normal lives together. It's me who jumps off the merry-go-round of stay-at-home-mom-hood. This inevitably makes me feel sad, like they were all invited to a special party and I wasn't. Intellectually, I know this isn't true, but I always have to remind myself that it's only natural that their lives will go on, regardless of whether or not I'm in them (how's that for an egotistical point of view?).
• The night before classes start, I feel that familiar feeling of butterflies in my stomach - the same one I got in grade school, high school, and college. It's a pretty fun feeling. It's the feeling of possibility opening wide before me.
• Within 3 weeks of classes starting, I'm in a groove, my family's in a groove, and I feel like I'm right where I belong; too busy to worry that my friends might forget about me.

This fall, all of the above is compounded by the fact that Kirby is starting kindergarten. Not only that - he's starting on a day when I'm required to be at my own school where I'll be student teaching (I feel confident that I will be able to break away to see my baby off to school and have the good cry I know is coming). Not only that - it's all-day kindergarten. Now, I know a lot of you out there are fans of all day kindergarten, but I'm not the biggest fan of it. He has a lot of years to go to school all day, you know? However, this will be a very good thing for us, as it will eliminate the need for daycare when I'm student teaching, and he will also be getting a Catholic education, which means a lot to me.

Suffice it to say (have you ever noticed how much I love to say that?), I have a lot of emotions swirling around inside of me. I'm just thankful that Stephen and I are no longer rookies. We've got this thing worked out, and I know that he will step in as usual and do his thing - the thing where he makes it all run smoothly. And this time next year, it will be me starting in a new school all day - as a teacher!