The Olympics From My Perspective

Watching the Olympics tonight with Husband, I feel a little lonely. I like to keep up a lively stream of comments to add to the event, and he just doesn't seem to appreciate that. I didn't realize until about 2 minutes ago that I've really been sitting here talking to myself for the past hour or so. Here's what you would hear if you were lucky enough to be a fly on our wall:

Husband: Michael Phelps is swimming.

Me: Oh, he's so good. Has he even lost one race? Can anyone beat him? Why are his pants so tight?

Husband: This is a heat, he doesn't have to "win" this one, he just has to qualify.

Me: But seriously, why does he pick out the tight pants version of the swimsuit where his muffin top shows, when other swimmers choose the full body suit? Is there a difference - aerodynamically, I mean?

Husband: (silence)

Me: You know, this U.S. Men's swimming team is a great looking bunch of young guys. I can just picture all the college girls sitting in their dorms going crazy.

Husband: (strange look)

Me: Did they ever figure out the thing with the Chinese gymnasts...whether or not they're under age?

Husband: (silence)

Me: Don't you wonder why Michael Phelps has a muffin top? Those pants must be sooooo tight, because you know he's all muscle.

Husband: (silence)

Me: (realizing that I'm holding a one-way conversation) You know, I don't think you appreciate the fact that I view the Olympics from all sides.

Husband: (silence)

Now, I realize that I've probably painted my husband as a couch potato with no personality, but this is far from the truth. He's actually fun to watch TV and movies with because he really gets nuances. I think that's part of why I ask him so many questions. The thing is, I've realized that he doesn't really appreciate my running non-sequiters during sporting events. He actually came right out and told me that during the World Series last year, when I was commenting on Todd Helton's beard being too bushy. My mom is actually my ideal sports-watching partner. She's into noticing all the same things I am, and really, we can't be bothered with the game itself.