My New Endeavor

There is something I've been neglecting to mention for the past couple of months. It's a pretty big something (to me), and no - I'm not pregnant! Actually, I'm going back to work...temporarily...tomorrow.

A couple of months ago Husband and I agreed about the need for a second income in our household sooner rather than later. It was hard for me to even comprehend going back to work. At that point, Gavin was about 6 weeks old. I began to pray for the perfect long-term sub (teaching) position to open up. It would have to be just the right job. My requirements seemed wishful, at best and unrealistic, at worst. I would need a job that wouldn't start until Gavin was at least 3 months old, I would need to find one that was close by, I only wanted to do special ed and last of all, I would need to convince my aunt to watch Gavin along with Ollie (who she's been watching for the past two years). Let's face it - that's a tall order. Without telling Stephen about my idea, I put out two probes - one with a former professor and one with my sister. Within three days, a teacher that works with Megan told her she would love to have me fill in for her when she goes on her maternity leave. The situation was (is) perfect. I will be working as a K-8 math interventionist at Megan's school, actually sharing a classroom with her! As it turns out, my aunt was wonderful about watching Gavin and instantly agreed to it. Everything fell together perfectly within a matter of a couple of days. The best part of all of it was doing this secretly and then surprising Husband once it was all set up and official.

So, a month and a half - or was it two months? - has passed faster than I can even believe. Here I am now, getting ready for tomorrow. I am nervous, sad, excited, sad, excited, sad...it just depends on when you talk to me. Gavin and I have really settled into a little routine - and I've gotten so dang attached to the little guy! Actually, I've flat out fallen head over heels for him. My heart hurts when I think about being away from him every day for the next two months. It's a smothering kind of feeling, but not one I haven't felt before. I remember when I had to go back to work when Kirby was just 8 weeks old. I cried all the way from the daycare, where I dropped him off on the first day, to work. I wonder how I'll be tomorrow?

I know I'm not special, just another mom who's got to go to work. And, I don't mind it too much, especially when I know how much it will help. I had planned to go back to work this coming fall after all, so this is only a few months early. There are quite a few pluses to this gig, not the least of which is getting my foot in the door with this school district, in the hopes of getting hired in the fall. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how grim the job scene is right now - even for special ed teachers.

The hardest part for me in all of this has been the handful of comments that I've received to the tune of "Gosh, that sounds like a good opportunity...I can't believe you're ready to leave Gavin and go back to work!". As if this is a career move for me. Here's the deal, it's not a career move. However, since I do need to go to work, I am thankful and feel incredibly blessed to have such a great opportunity fall into my lap. And, if I'm going to start a career, I'm even further blessed to have found a field that I am passionate about. I am bound and determined to enjoy this next two months and to soak up all the knowledge I can glean from the teachers I'll be working with. Obviously, I'm most excited about my favorite teacher I'll be working with...Mrs. Moran. Please, say a little prayer for me tomorrow. I'll be the one with a lump in her throat.