A Not So Good Message

Sometimes it's difficult to say which is harder: knowing or not knowing. I've interviewed for four jobs so far (with two more interviews tomorrow) and have been getting frustrated and not a little bit disappointed by the fact that I haven't heard back - either way - good or bad. It does boggle my mind that people in very professional positions don't take the time to call and let a candidate know when a decision has been made. It's just the courteous thing to do, isn't it?

I had three messages on the answering machine when I got home this evening. Two were for interviews, and one was a rejection - my first for this round of interviewing. It wasn't so much the rejection that bothered me, although nobody likes to hear they're not the person for the job, it was the fact that I had interviewed for (and been rejected for) the same position last spring. It was very humbling to go right back to the same place and try to convince them why this time I really am the right person for the job. There were 11 questions, and only 30 minutes to answer them. I didn't feel good after the interview like I have with the others. It's so hard to really get who you are across to someone in such a short time. The message left by the principal was very gracious, kind, and complimentary. He said that the person who got it has the same "passion and dedication to pedagogy" as me, but has years of experience. It's hard to argue with that.

My sister reminded me tonight that for some reason, that school must not be where God wants me to be. So while I feel a little sensitive and mopey, I do know that everything happens for a reason. It's being in limbo that is so hard to take. Maybe I just need more practice in letting go.