A New World Opens Up

It's interesting that I've officially been a teacher for the past week and a half, and yet I haven't even seen my kids yet. People ask me how my job is going, but I haven't really gotten to do my job yet. Last week was spent in New Teacher Orientation for the district. I must say it was a very thoughtful, well put-together training. I met some wonderful people and it got me focused on the year ahead.

On Monday I reported to my school, where I met the staff and we spent most of the day in professional development. Since then, there's been time to prepare (not nearly as much as I had hoped for!) and more professional development. Each step of the way - through last week and this week - my decision to work in this district, in this particular job, was validated. I know in my heart of hearts that I am in the right place.

As I type this entry, it is now Sunday. My exhaustion, combined with our busy-ness has kept me from being able to sit down write, let alone gather the thoughts I would want to express.

My first two days of school were a whirlwind. They were exhausting, exhilarating, emotional...you name it. All I know is that for the whole three years I was in school, people tried to prepare me for what it's like to be a first year teacher. I went in expecting stress and exhaustion. However, it's about 3 times harder than I expected. I've decided that in order to survive it, I need to look at it as a sort of boot camp. I imagine that going to boot camp is completely overwhelming for some people; it's a complete change to one's life. I too am feeling like my whole life has changed, and the newness of my job has completely assaulted all of my senses. I think the one thing that is making it even harder for me is that I still am not getting good sleep, and anybody who knows me knows that I simply cannot function when I'm tired. And for me to not be tired, I need to regularly get 8 hours of sleep. Gavin, in making sure that he gets his quality time in with Mom and Dad, has resorted to middle-of-the-night parties. Knowing that this is just temporary, and too exhausted to combat it, Husband and I have instead chosen survival tactics: taking turns getting up, trying to let him cry it out, and even bringing him in to bed in the early morning hours from time to time. Suffice it to say that it's a very ironic situation in that those survival tactics probably just leave us more tired than we were to begin!

Realizing just what a busy, overwhelming time it is going to be as I adjust to my new job, I have decided to put off finishing my master's. This is a really hard decision for me, but one that I'm proud of. Being a bit of a perfectionist (just a bit), it's hard for me to change course sometimes. In my mind I had planned to finish my final class this semester and be done by Christmas break. There's a part of me that worries that I'll never finish this last class (and that is probably what Husband is thinking to himself - and I don't blame him). I have to remember why I went back to school in the first place, and that is to be a teacher. Right now I need to turn my focus to that, and in delaying the completion of my master's, I will hopefully still be a strong presence for my family.

All in all, despite the rough start (I haven't even gone into the challenging behaviors I endured in one of my classes!), I know that I have chosen the right profession. I feel it in my heart; just like I know in my heart that I chose the right job, the right school district. The people I work with have been amazing in helping me transition, and I'm grateful that I haven't experienced the "cliquey-ness" (made up word) that I've seen among staff in some of the schools I've been in. The people I am now working with are a real bright spot in a new and challenging time in my life. Of course, the kids are too - and that's what it's all about.