Today, I had the realization that sometimes I make mountains out of molehills. Every Sunday since the middle of August, I have spent the entire day with a knot of anxiety in my stomach - gripping at my throat - in anticipation of returning to work the next day. Yesterday, it seemed almost crippling. Today, as I began to churn through my daily schedule, I had to stop for a moment and wonder what all the hype is about?
Sure, my job is quite stressful. I have more to do than there are hours in the day (like every other teacher in America). I'm still trying to figure out how to balance work with family. I still get very little sleep. But you know what? My job is actually not as bad as I tend to make it out to be each Sunday. My sister suggested that maybe I'm going through a little bit of a grieving period every weekend because I actually have to go to work. I will say that's possible. After being able to call my own shots for the past six years, it is hard knowing that I absolutely HAVE to be somewhere by 7:10am. I may be feeling a little fenced in. Regardless, by the end of the day I realized that I essentially wasted my entire Sunday this past weekend feeling anxious and nervous.
My boys seem to be settling in too. It hasn't been an easy adjustment, but I am proud to say that they've really come through. They are absolute troopers about being at school until 4 or 4:30 every day. They never complain (okay - they did complain the day that I didn't pick them up until 5:30pm - I felt so guilty - but it was only one time!). I think we may even be settling in to a routine here. It is though, a very precarious routine at best. It kind of reminds me of a teeter-totter. We've got things balanced just right, but don't put anything extra on either side, or someone is bound to sink! For instance, don't try to throw in extracurricular activities - we've all but given up on those! There simply isn't time. Connor still plays soccer - but Kirby has decided to take the season off (with the blessing of his parents). I'm holding it together, but if I had stayed enrolled in my master's class? NOT PRETTY. We've pulled Kirby out of piano lessons - a move that absolutely devastated me - and he's being intermittently tutored by me (unfortunately for him, his lessons never surpassed my experience!). I just simply cannot take on anything more than we're doing.
I figure that as working full time and being a full-time mom become a more familiar balancing act, and as Gavin gets a little older (and sleeps more), we will gradually be able to add back in the elements that give our life a little variety. We will inevitably spend our spring at baseball or soccer practices and games, and I hope by that time, I feel like a little bit less of a rookie.
And incidentally - my baby has one and a half teeth!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
First Day of School
Today, my sister gave me this basket to help me get settled in as a teacher. When I saw what she had done, I burst into tears. I was touched by how thoughtfully she had picked out every single notebook , pen, and folder and by the expense that she went to. When I thanked her through my tears, she reminded me that someone had done that for her on her first day of school 10 years ago. It's so hard to believe that day was 1o years ago! We were roommates, and I was engaged to Husband. I never would have believed then that I would find myself in my little sister's shoes 10 years down the road!
My feeling about tomorrow, which begins my week of training in my new district before teachers report to school:
I think it's obvious why I'm excited and nervous. But the sad part is right here...
Gavin Snoozes in the Swing
Of course I'll miss my big boys too, but they're going to be all settled in in their kindergarten and 2nd grade classes. It's this little guy that will be hard to say goodbye to. It's been a very sweet 7 months (I guess there was that little 8 week period when I left him). I'm making Husband drop him off at his daycare lady's house. I know I won't be able to focus on the first day of my new job if I'm thinking about having just dropped him off.
Actually, the past 6 years have been so sweet. I'll be forever thankful for the sacrifices that Husband made so that I could stay home with the boys, and then so that I could go to school, so that the job I am beginning gets to be one about which I am passionate.
And this...
well, this is just me being prepared. There are 2 Starbucks on the way to my school. I'm going to have to go on the offensive and make my tea at home unless I want to spend half of my paycheck getting my favorite kind of caffeine buzz!
My feeling about tomorrow, which begins my week of training in my new district before teachers report to school:
- excited
- nervous
- sad
- excited
- sad
- did I already say nervous?
I think it's obvious why I'm excited and nervous. But the sad part is right here...
Gavin Snoozes in the SwingOf course I'll miss my big boys too, but they're going to be all settled in in their kindergarten and 2nd grade classes. It's this little guy that will be hard to say goodbye to. It's been a very sweet 7 months (I guess there was that little 8 week period when I left him). I'm making Husband drop him off at his daycare lady's house. I know I won't be able to focus on the first day of my new job if I'm thinking about having just dropped him off.
Actually, the past 6 years have been so sweet. I'll be forever thankful for the sacrifices that Husband made so that I could stay home with the boys, and then so that I could go to school, so that the job I am beginning gets to be one about which I am passionate.
And this...
well, this is just me being prepared. There are 2 Starbucks on the way to my school. I'm going to have to go on the offensive and make my tea at home unless I want to spend half of my paycheck getting my favorite kind of caffeine buzz!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
My New Endeavor
There is something I've been neglecting to mention for the past couple of months. It's a pretty big something (to me), and no - I'm not pregnant! Actually, I'm going back to work...temporarily...tomorrow.
A couple of months ago Husband and I agreed about the need for a second income in our household sooner rather than later. It was hard for me to even comprehend going back to work. At that point, Gavin was about 6 weeks old. I began to pray for the perfect long-term sub (teaching) position to open up. It would have to be just the right job. My requirements seemed wishful, at best and unrealistic, at worst. I would need a job that wouldn't start until Gavin was at least 3 months old, I would need to find one that was close by, I only wanted to do special ed and last of all, I would need to convince my aunt to watch Gavin along with Ollie (who she's been watching for the past two years). Let's face it - that's a tall order. Without telling Stephen about my idea, I put out two probes - one with a former professor and one with my sister. Within three days, a teacher that works with Megan told her she would love to have me fill in for her when she goes on her maternity leave. The situation was (is) perfect. I will be working as a K-8 math interventionist at Megan's school, actually sharing a classroom with her! As it turns out, my aunt was wonderful about watching Gavin and instantly agreed to it. Everything fell together perfectly within a matter of a couple of days. The best part of all of it was doing this secretly and then surprising Husband once it was all set up and official.
So, a month and a half - or was it two months? - has passed faster than I can even believe. Here I am now, getting ready for tomorrow. I am nervous, sad, excited, sad, excited, sad...it just depends on when you talk to me. Gavin and I have really settled into a little routine - and I've gotten so dang attached to the little guy! Actually, I've flat out fallen head over heels for him. My heart hurts when I think about being away from him every day for the next two months. It's a smothering kind of feeling, but not one I haven't felt before. I remember when I had to go back to work when Kirby was just 8 weeks old. I cried all the way from the daycare, where I dropped him off on the first day, to work. I wonder how I'll be tomorrow?
I know I'm not special, just another mom who's got to go to work. And, I don't mind it too much, especially when I know how much it will help. I had planned to go back to work this coming fall after all, so this is only a few months early. There are quite a few pluses to this gig, not the least of which is getting my foot in the door with this school district, in the hopes of getting hired in the fall. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how grim the job scene is right now - even for special ed teachers.
The hardest part for me in all of this has been the handful of comments that I've received to the tune of "Gosh, that sounds like a good opportunity...I can't believe you're ready to leave Gavin and go back to work!". As if this is a career move for me. Here's the deal, it's not a career move. However, since I do need to go to work, I am thankful and feel incredibly blessed to have such a great opportunity fall into my lap. And, if I'm going to start a career, I'm even further blessed to have found a field that I am passionate about. I am bound and determined to enjoy this next two months and to soak up all the knowledge I can glean from the teachers I'll be working with. Obviously, I'm most excited about my favorite teacher I'll be working with...Mrs. Moran. Please, say a little prayer for me tomorrow. I'll be the one with a lump in her throat.
A couple of months ago Husband and I agreed about the need for a second income in our household sooner rather than later. It was hard for me to even comprehend going back to work. At that point, Gavin was about 6 weeks old. I began to pray for the perfect long-term sub (teaching) position to open up. It would have to be just the right job. My requirements seemed wishful, at best and unrealistic, at worst. I would need a job that wouldn't start until Gavin was at least 3 months old, I would need to find one that was close by, I only wanted to do special ed and last of all, I would need to convince my aunt to watch Gavin along with Ollie (who she's been watching for the past two years). Let's face it - that's a tall order. Without telling Stephen about my idea, I put out two probes - one with a former professor and one with my sister. Within three days, a teacher that works with Megan told her she would love to have me fill in for her when she goes on her maternity leave. The situation was (is) perfect. I will be working as a K-8 math interventionist at Megan's school, actually sharing a classroom with her! As it turns out, my aunt was wonderful about watching Gavin and instantly agreed to it. Everything fell together perfectly within a matter of a couple of days. The best part of all of it was doing this secretly and then surprising Husband once it was all set up and official.
So, a month and a half - or was it two months? - has passed faster than I can even believe. Here I am now, getting ready for tomorrow. I am nervous, sad, excited, sad, excited, sad...it just depends on when you talk to me. Gavin and I have really settled into a little routine - and I've gotten so dang attached to the little guy! Actually, I've flat out fallen head over heels for him. My heart hurts when I think about being away from him every day for the next two months. It's a smothering kind of feeling, but not one I haven't felt before. I remember when I had to go back to work when Kirby was just 8 weeks old. I cried all the way from the daycare, where I dropped him off on the first day, to work. I wonder how I'll be tomorrow?
I know I'm not special, just another mom who's got to go to work. And, I don't mind it too much, especially when I know how much it will help. I had planned to go back to work this coming fall after all, so this is only a few months early. There are quite a few pluses to this gig, not the least of which is getting my foot in the door with this school district, in the hopes of getting hired in the fall. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how grim the job scene is right now - even for special ed teachers.
The hardest part for me in all of this has been the handful of comments that I've received to the tune of "Gosh, that sounds like a good opportunity...I can't believe you're ready to leave Gavin and go back to work!". As if this is a career move for me. Here's the deal, it's not a career move. However, since I do need to go to work, I am thankful and feel incredibly blessed to have such a great opportunity fall into my lap. And, if I'm going to start a career, I'm even further blessed to have found a field that I am passionate about. I am bound and determined to enjoy this next two months and to soak up all the knowledge I can glean from the teachers I'll be working with. Obviously, I'm most excited about my favorite teacher I'll be working with...Mrs. Moran. Please, say a little prayer for me tomorrow. I'll be the one with a lump in her throat.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Around Our House
I really miss blogging. I walk around thinking about what I'm going to write a lot but again, I'm tired a lot and writing, which is quite a luxury (similar to leisure reading), has fallen way to the bottom of the list. Still, we've had some happenings here, and it's important that I keep all of the grandparents up to speed!
On Monday, Kirby went to school with a new haircut, which he insisted on styling "spiked up". Apparently "everybody" at school wears their hair that way. So, gritting my teeth and biting back the comment that my son looked like a little Nascar fan, I sent him to school looking like this:
(Note the lack of front teeth)
As he got ready for bed, he told us, "Nyeli says that the shinier and cleaner your tooth is, the more money the tooth fairy will leave you."
"Really?" I said, sensing a catch. "Like, how much more?"
"Ten or fifteen dollars!"
As I shot Kirby a skeptical look that said, "You can't be serious" he smiled sheepishly and exclaimed, "I know - crazy, huh?"
He then spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing his little front tooth to get all of the blood off of it. I figured we had to throw him a bone, so I got together $1.25 (he got a dollar for his other front tooth - 50 cents for regular teeth) with the intent of leaving him a 25 cent tip for the cleaning. I also wrote out a tiny little tooth fairy-sized note that said, "That is one shiny tooth! Love, TF". Husband was concerned Kirby would trace the note back to me, and talked me out of leaving it. Kirby was thrilled with the extra money and went to school yesterday and told his classmates that they really need to be cleaning their teeth again after they fall out if they want to get more money!
Big news around here is that Connor finally learned how to play a game that was not intended specifically for children. He is now playing SkipBo and we are all so glad to be able to put away the Candy Land and Sorry games for awhile. We enjoyed some good family game time over the past weekend. Even Gavin got in on the action (Gramma would be so proud!):
Speaking of Gavin, he's two months old now!
Gavin weighed in at 10.5 pounds - the heftiest Federocko baby yet!
Connor has become quite proficient with giving Gavin a bottle, which Gavin happily accepts - if he's in the right mood!
On Monday, Kirby went to school with a new haircut, which he insisted on styling "spiked up". Apparently "everybody" at school wears their hair that way. So, gritting my teeth and biting back the comment that my son looked like a little Nascar fan, I sent him to school looking like this:
When I picked him up from school I noticed that the hair had (thankfully) fallen, but he looked like this:
(Note the lack of front teeth)As he got ready for bed, he told us, "Nyeli says that the shinier and cleaner your tooth is, the more money the tooth fairy will leave you."
"Really?" I said, sensing a catch. "Like, how much more?"
"Ten or fifteen dollars!"
As I shot Kirby a skeptical look that said, "You can't be serious" he smiled sheepishly and exclaimed, "I know - crazy, huh?"
He then spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing his little front tooth to get all of the blood off of it. I figured we had to throw him a bone, so I got together $1.25 (he got a dollar for his other front tooth - 50 cents for regular teeth) with the intent of leaving him a 25 cent tip for the cleaning. I also wrote out a tiny little tooth fairy-sized note that said, "That is one shiny tooth! Love, TF". Husband was concerned Kirby would trace the note back to me, and talked me out of leaving it. Kirby was thrilled with the extra money and went to school yesterday and told his classmates that they really need to be cleaning their teeth again after they fall out if they want to get more money!
Big news around here is that Connor finally learned how to play a game that was not intended specifically for children. He is now playing SkipBo and we are all so glad to be able to put away the Candy Land and Sorry games for awhile. We enjoyed some good family game time over the past weekend. Even Gavin got in on the action (Gramma would be so proud!):
Speaking of Gavin, he's two months old now!
Gavin weighed in at 10.5 pounds - the heftiest Federocko baby yet!Connor has become quite proficient with giving Gavin a bottle, which Gavin happily accepts - if he's in the right mood!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Happenings
Okay, I'm back to continue my run-down of our recent activities. First of all - someone came off oxygen. I'm not going to name any names, but look at this beautiful face...
(Husband had to point out just how huge his melon looks here, but I want to assure you that he's actually very well proportioned)
Next up...
What, you might ask, does this represent? Well, I'll tell you. This is what Ollie did within the first five minutes of officially moving into our house. He emptied a canister of powdered Coffee Mate onto the table and floor. A few hours later, he dropped the remote control into a glass of water, rendering our TV completely useless. Really, this is nothing. This photo below shows what Ollie is capable of when given 60 seconds and a tube of Desitin (note the perfect shaving cream pattern on his face - he's just recently become aware of his daddy's shaving regimen). I should note that this disaster did not take place in our house. We lovingly refer to him as "Hurricane Ollie". He's awful cute though, so we'll keep him.
Big news...
Husband turned the big 3-9 on Tuesday. Doesn't he look great? It's hard to believe we shared our very first kiss on his 31st birthday. 30 seems like light years from 40, doesn't it? I asked him if me falling in love with him on his 3oth birthday was the best present he ever got, and he graciously told me yes! I spent the whole day preparing something that I know he likes. Actually, it's one of the few dishes our whole family loves - The Pioneer Woman's white chicken enchiladas. I also made rice and beans to go with, and surprised him with his favorite dessert - chocolate mousse (which, I made from scratch and which, is an extremely high maintenance dish - but which, for the first time, turned out really well). I'm quite positive that if I hadn't had to continually stop to nurse a baby, soothe a baby, and hold a baby I would have gotten the whole birthday meal done in about 1/3 the time, but I still had a blast doing it, and Husband seemed to like it. We all looked like slobs at the end of the day, and I told the boys to go put something nicer on. The photo below is what they came up with. They were very excited to sport the ties. I particularly like the multi-plaid combo that Kirby chose. Nothing says "birthday" like an Easter tie on a fall shirt! Honestly, the look on Husband's face when he saw that they had put on ties for him was completely priceless. He loved it.
That's what's been happening in our neck of the woods. I'm going to go see if I can sneak in 30 minutes of sleep or so before the little guy wakes up to eat.
(Husband had to point out just how huge his melon looks here, but I want to assure you that he's actually very well proportioned)
Next up...
What, you might ask, does this represent? Well, I'll tell you. This is what Ollie did within the first five minutes of officially moving into our house. He emptied a canister of powdered Coffee Mate onto the table and floor. A few hours later, he dropped the remote control into a glass of water, rendering our TV completely useless. Really, this is nothing. This photo below shows what Ollie is capable of when given 60 seconds and a tube of Desitin (note the perfect shaving cream pattern on his face - he's just recently become aware of his daddy's shaving regimen). I should note that this disaster did not take place in our house. We lovingly refer to him as "Hurricane Ollie". He's awful cute though, so we'll keep him.
Big news...
Husband turned the big 3-9 on Tuesday. Doesn't he look great? It's hard to believe we shared our very first kiss on his 31st birthday. 30 seems like light years from 40, doesn't it? I asked him if me falling in love with him on his 3oth birthday was the best present he ever got, and he graciously told me yes! I spent the whole day preparing something that I know he likes. Actually, it's one of the few dishes our whole family loves - The Pioneer Woman's white chicken enchiladas. I also made rice and beans to go with, and surprised him with his favorite dessert - chocolate mousse (which, I made from scratch and which, is an extremely high maintenance dish - but which, for the first time, turned out really well). I'm quite positive that if I hadn't had to continually stop to nurse a baby, soothe a baby, and hold a baby I would have gotten the whole birthday meal done in about 1/3 the time, but I still had a blast doing it, and Husband seemed to like it. We all looked like slobs at the end of the day, and I told the boys to go put something nicer on. The photo below is what they came up with. They were very excited to sport the ties. I particularly like the multi-plaid combo that Kirby chose. Nothing says "birthday" like an Easter tie on a fall shirt! Honestly, the look on Husband's face when he saw that they had put on ties for him was completely priceless. He loved it.
That's what's been happening in our neck of the woods. I'm going to go see if I can sneak in 30 minutes of sleep or so before the little guy wakes up to eat.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My Neglected Blog
Yesterday I received an e-mail from my dad, who apparently thought I needed a little perspective to get me off my duff and back to blogging...
"Jennifer, you haven't posted anything on your blog for eight days. The Pioneer Woman, the mother of four children, posts daily."
You can see my dad's not one for letting a girl off the hook. I mean, just because I have a 5-week old, doesn't mean I can ease up on communicating now, does it? I'm not sure why, but my days seem so full. Each morning, after a couple of middle-of-the-night feeding sessions, I swear to myself, "I'm going to take a nap today!" But every time Gavin falls asleep, I find myself running to do something - laundry, cooking, bills, school work, etc. I remember this from when Kirby was a baby and I was home with just him. The only thing is, I have no idea what I thought I had to do back then. My life was significantly less busy in 2003!
We've been up to a lot lately, and here are a few photos:
Gavin turned one month old last week. He promptly celebrated by smiling (voluntarily), and cooing. We now enjoy conversing with each other during the day when nobody else is around to see what a fool I make of myself! He also got to come off of his oxygen last Friday. It is so nice to be able to snuggle cheek to cheek without feeling a cannula against my face! As you can see, he was not very excited about having his picture taken.
Okay - I'll post more in another post. I'm experiencing some problems with the blog site just now, and can't get any other photos uploaded. I'll try a separate post in a bit.
"Jennifer, you haven't posted anything on your blog for eight days. The Pioneer Woman, the mother of four children, posts daily."
You can see my dad's not one for letting a girl off the hook. I mean, just because I have a 5-week old, doesn't mean I can ease up on communicating now, does it? I'm not sure why, but my days seem so full. Each morning, after a couple of middle-of-the-night feeding sessions, I swear to myself, "I'm going to take a nap today!" But every time Gavin falls asleep, I find myself running to do something - laundry, cooking, bills, school work, etc. I remember this from when Kirby was a baby and I was home with just him. The only thing is, I have no idea what I thought I had to do back then. My life was significantly less busy in 2003!
We've been up to a lot lately, and here are a few photos:
Gavin turned one month old last week. He promptly celebrated by smiling (voluntarily), and cooing. We now enjoy conversing with each other during the day when nobody else is around to see what a fool I make of myself! He also got to come off of his oxygen last Friday. It is so nice to be able to snuggle cheek to cheek without feeling a cannula against my face! As you can see, he was not very excited about having his picture taken.
Okay - I'll post more in another post. I'm experiencing some problems with the blog site just now, and can't get any other photos uploaded. I'll try a separate post in a bit.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Through A New Lens...
I am having the most relaxing morning. Gavin slept well last night, the boys had a good morning, the house is clean (okay, not "clean" with a capital C, but clean enough that I can relax), and I've actually gotten a few personal things done. It's very quiet around here and that is also sweet music to my ears.
Last night my sister Heather, my mom, and I went to see the movie "It's Complicated". The premise of the movie is that a couple (Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep) who have been divorced for 10 years decide to "give it another shot", and have a clandestine affair (he's remarried to the woman he initially had an affair with). At the end of the movie, when their three adult children find out about their affair they are very emotional and Alec Baldwin's character asks them, "Why are you all crying? This is supposed to be good news!" The oldest daughter answers, "Because we're still getting over the divorce." I cannot begin to say how much I identified with that one little statement. My parents have been divorced for 20 years now, and while it certainly didn't scar me, it did leave little divots on my heart. I find that every so often I have to address one of those little divots, picking up the piece that was chipped out, examining it, and putting it back where it belongs, much the way a golfer does. A priest once told me that we will never be finished dealing with the problems of our past, because every time we get to a new chapter in our lives, we find that we have to face them through the lens of where we are at the time...as a teenager, a young woman, a mother, etc. It is in dealing with each little aspect of our past, a piece at a time, that allows us to heal.
My little sister is going through a divorce right now. She's given me her permission to include that information here, which is nice because she and my nephew (21 month-old Ollie) are going to be living with us and I want to be able to talk about our household happenings when it's relevant. At any rate, I will not include any details of her divorce here, because it's her story, and this is my blog. I will say though, that watching her go through the betrayal, pain and isolation caused by her divorce has caused me heartache like I have never felt before. I know that it has caused my parents and my other sister heartache as well. Not only have we had to watch someone we love get hurt, but we are also experiencing the hurt of losing a family member that we trusted. This is the new lens with which I am now viewing my parents' divorce. If I said it hasn't opened up some old wounds I'd be lying; however, I welcome the chance to repair those divots from the perspective of a 35 year-old mother - a woman who has matured a lot and come into her own in the past 20 years. Ironically, much of that is because of my experience with divorce. Maybe it's true what they say - what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Last night my sister Heather, my mom, and I went to see the movie "It's Complicated". The premise of the movie is that a couple (Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep) who have been divorced for 10 years decide to "give it another shot", and have a clandestine affair (he's remarried to the woman he initially had an affair with). At the end of the movie, when their three adult children find out about their affair they are very emotional and Alec Baldwin's character asks them, "Why are you all crying? This is supposed to be good news!" The oldest daughter answers, "Because we're still getting over the divorce." I cannot begin to say how much I identified with that one little statement. My parents have been divorced for 20 years now, and while it certainly didn't scar me, it did leave little divots on my heart. I find that every so often I have to address one of those little divots, picking up the piece that was chipped out, examining it, and putting it back where it belongs, much the way a golfer does. A priest once told me that we will never be finished dealing with the problems of our past, because every time we get to a new chapter in our lives, we find that we have to face them through the lens of where we are at the time...as a teenager, a young woman, a mother, etc. It is in dealing with each little aspect of our past, a piece at a time, that allows us to heal.
My little sister is going through a divorce right now. She's given me her permission to include that information here, which is nice because she and my nephew (21 month-old Ollie) are going to be living with us and I want to be able to talk about our household happenings when it's relevant. At any rate, I will not include any details of her divorce here, because it's her story, and this is my blog. I will say though, that watching her go through the betrayal, pain and isolation caused by her divorce has caused me heartache like I have never felt before. I know that it has caused my parents and my other sister heartache as well. Not only have we had to watch someone we love get hurt, but we are also experiencing the hurt of losing a family member that we trusted. This is the new lens with which I am now viewing my parents' divorce. If I said it hasn't opened up some old wounds I'd be lying; however, I welcome the chance to repair those divots from the perspective of a 35 year-old mother - a woman who has matured a lot and come into her own in the past 20 years. Ironically, much of that is because of my experience with divorce. Maybe it's true what they say - what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Boys Figure it Out
It's hard to believe that Gavin has been home for almost a week now, and that he's two weeks old. It's even harder to believe how much more grown up the boys seem now that we have a teeny one in the house.
My first baby. I can't believe he was ever my baby. How did he get so grown up? He spends hours holding his baby brother, stroking his hands and singing to him. And yet, I love getting a glimpse of the little boy he still is...
My first day home from the hospital, I was standing in my closet changing my clothes (privately, I might add) when Kirby came barging in. As he began to speak, his eyes wandered down to my lower abdomen, where my C-section incision was very visible and held together with steri-strip tape.
"Oh Mommy," he said softly, covering his mouth with both hands. "That looks like it hurts. Is that where they took the baby out?"
"Yes," I told him, "and it does hurt".
"It makes my feet feel wobbly," he said in a shaky voice. Afraid he was going to faint or vomit (which would not be uncharacteristic) I hurried him away and told him not to look anymore. As he exited my room, I heard him run into Connor.
"Connor, come here...there's something you have to see!"
And this one, who just can't be 4 1/2.
My first night home from the hospital, I began to set up the breast pump I would have to use throughout the night to pump milk for Gavin's bottles in the NICU. As I was getting everything in order Connor wandered into my room and asked what the machine was for. I tried to explain to him by using just the bare bones of facts (I figured I didn't want to give him more info than he needed).
"This is a machine that's going to help me collect milk for Gavin when I'm away from him and can't feed him myself," I explained to Connor.
"Oh. How does it work?"
"Well, the machine works the same way as a baby does to take milk from my breasts," I told him.
"So...you put that on your breasts?"
"Yes," I answered, wondering just how much longer Connor was going to make me drag out the explanation. But to my relief he just turned on his heel and left my room.
"HEY KIRBY!!!" He yelled in what we call his "whisper 2000" voice. "Mom's got a machine up here that sucks milk out of her breasts for Gavin!"
I cringed as I thought of my father-in-law dozing on the couch downstairs, knowing that any sense of delicacy I had managed to salvage up to this point was slipping away thanks to Connor. While he did leave me alone during the times I needed to pump, he became fascinated with the bottles of milk that would be on my nightstand first thing in the morning, left from my last pump of the night. Each morning he would come in and ask if he could take them to the refrigerator.
"Milk delivery!" He would announce to the rest of the family who were sitting at the breakfast table. "Coming through with milk!" (Connor does nothing subtly).
Opening the fridge that first morning, his eyes popped as he caught sight of the six other bottles that I had put there during the night.
"Kirby look!" he exclaimed to his brother, holding up the two bottles he had carried. "Mom's milk...and she has a whole collection!" he said fanning his arm a-la Vannah White under the six other bottles.
My first baby. I can't believe he was ever my baby. How did he get so grown up? He spends hours holding his baby brother, stroking his hands and singing to him. And yet, I love getting a glimpse of the little boy he still is...My first day home from the hospital, I was standing in my closet changing my clothes (privately, I might add) when Kirby came barging in. As he began to speak, his eyes wandered down to my lower abdomen, where my C-section incision was very visible and held together with steri-strip tape.
"Oh Mommy," he said softly, covering his mouth with both hands. "That looks like it hurts. Is that where they took the baby out?"
"Yes," I told him, "and it does hurt".
"It makes my feet feel wobbly," he said in a shaky voice. Afraid he was going to faint or vomit (which would not be uncharacteristic) I hurried him away and told him not to look anymore. As he exited my room, I heard him run into Connor.
"Connor, come here...there's something you have to see!"
And this one, who just can't be 4 1/2.My first night home from the hospital, I began to set up the breast pump I would have to use throughout the night to pump milk for Gavin's bottles in the NICU. As I was getting everything in order Connor wandered into my room and asked what the machine was for. I tried to explain to him by using just the bare bones of facts (I figured I didn't want to give him more info than he needed).
"This is a machine that's going to help me collect milk for Gavin when I'm away from him and can't feed him myself," I explained to Connor.
"Oh. How does it work?"
"Well, the machine works the same way as a baby does to take milk from my breasts," I told him.
"So...you put that on your breasts?"
"Yes," I answered, wondering just how much longer Connor was going to make me drag out the explanation. But to my relief he just turned on his heel and left my room.
"HEY KIRBY!!!" He yelled in what we call his "whisper 2000" voice. "Mom's got a machine up here that sucks milk out of her breasts for Gavin!"
I cringed as I thought of my father-in-law dozing on the couch downstairs, knowing that any sense of delicacy I had managed to salvage up to this point was slipping away thanks to Connor. While he did leave me alone during the times I needed to pump, he became fascinated with the bottles of milk that would be on my nightstand first thing in the morning, left from my last pump of the night. Each morning he would come in and ask if he could take them to the refrigerator.
"Milk delivery!" He would announce to the rest of the family who were sitting at the breakfast table. "Coming through with milk!" (Connor does nothing subtly).
Opening the fridge that first morning, his eyes popped as he caught sight of the six other bottles that I had put there during the night.
"Kirby look!" he exclaimed to his brother, holding up the two bottles he had carried. "Mom's milk...and she has a whole collection!" he said fanning his arm a-la Vannah White under the six other bottles.
Monday, December 28, 2009
We're All Together Now
Gavin's First Bath at Home
The warmer where Gavin spent his first couple of NICU days.(Note the "Baby's 1st Christmas bear the boys made him at Build-a-Bear)
Gavin and Adoring Dad the Day Before DischargeWe left the hospital with a much healthier baby but still, a baby on oxygen. Test results came daily and by the time Gavin was discharged we knew that in addition to the bacterial infection, he also had some sort of virus, which is likely what necessitated the oxygen. Our pediatrician decided today to leave him on oxygen for at least another week. While it is a pain to navigate around the hose and the tanks, we are so happy to have him home that it's a small sacrifice.
The most precious part of my day the past few days has been morning, when Gavin awakes and is fussing for me to come feed him. Each day, Kirby has crept out of bed intent on soothing him. Today, as I walked toward the nursery, he held up his hand to me and said, "I got it Mom. I'll go in and soothe him for you." Rooting around for the pacifier, Kirby cooed and spoke so gently and lovingly to him that it almost made my heart burst. I felt bad having to break the news to Kirby that Gavin didn't want the pacifier - he wanted me. As I settled into the rocker to nurse, both boys came in and sat on the floor by me, keeping me company and stroking Gavin's hands and head.
"This," I thought, "is what it means to feel complete."
The Federocko ThreeWednesday, December 16, 2009
Random Thoughts and Crazy Kids
Oh my...you have no idea how many postings I've started in my head over the past week. That's just the problem - they don't get out of my head and actually into the computer. The reason is because I lack any and all motivation right now. Somehow, I've miraculously completed all Christmas shopping and wrapping, but I've completely plateaued!
Kirby was born almost three weeks early and Connor was born 12 days early. For this pregnancy, 12 days early would have been yesterday. Still, no sign at all of this little guy wanting to come early. I mean yes, I have been 1 cm dilated for the past two weeks, and yes I'm having contractions, but nothing regular. I'm starting to worry that this is going to be the kid who never wants to leave home. He seems pretty content just hanging out where he is.
The boys are beside themselves with anticipation, and we've got a stocking up for our new little Christmas baby. It's amazing how full our railing now looks with 5 stockings. After I got them all in place, Husband and I stood back and just admired them; he had a huge smile and a look of pride on his face that melted my heart.
Speaking of the boys...are anybody else's kids acting kind of crazy? Ours have been quite hyper lately and pretty fresh. I'd like to think it's the excitement over the upcoming Christmas break. I hope it's not all for the baby, because I fear what may become of their behavior once he's here and my reinforcements (that would be my mother- and father-in-law, who just got here yesterday) go home!
Could this blog post be more disjointed? I think that in the interest of my own pride, I should sign off before I launch into any more random thoughts. Perhaps the next time I blog, I'll have a new little baby. Let's hope!
Kirby was born almost three weeks early and Connor was born 12 days early. For this pregnancy, 12 days early would have been yesterday. Still, no sign at all of this little guy wanting to come early. I mean yes, I have been 1 cm dilated for the past two weeks, and yes I'm having contractions, but nothing regular. I'm starting to worry that this is going to be the kid who never wants to leave home. He seems pretty content just hanging out where he is.
The boys are beside themselves with anticipation, and we've got a stocking up for our new little Christmas baby. It's amazing how full our railing now looks with 5 stockings. After I got them all in place, Husband and I stood back and just admired them; he had a huge smile and a look of pride on his face that melted my heart.
Speaking of the boys...are anybody else's kids acting kind of crazy? Ours have been quite hyper lately and pretty fresh. I'd like to think it's the excitement over the upcoming Christmas break. I hope it's not all for the baby, because I fear what may become of their behavior once he's here and my reinforcements (that would be my mother- and father-in-law, who just got here yesterday) go home!
Could this blog post be more disjointed? I think that in the interest of my own pride, I should sign off before I launch into any more random thoughts. Perhaps the next time I blog, I'll have a new little baby. Let's hope!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Crazy Thoughts for a Crazy Night
Here is the real reason I have been bad about updating my blog over the past 6 months: I have very little studying to do. It's true. When I was the best about updating my blog was when I had more studying to do than I could even imagine getting through. It was a good diversion. I was at my computer a lot and blogging was a great way of giving myself a creative moment whilst procrastinating. I know this to be true because here I sit today, at my favorite of study spots (you guessed it - Starbucks!) blogging. I am blogging not only to try to redeem myself from my complete ineptitude in keeping this thing up to date, but also to keep from having to start my final paper for my second to final master's class. It's a paper I've been dreading, even though I actually love writing papers; and it's due Thursday. Oh - and did I mention? I haven't started it yet and it's worth 60% of my final grade.
If I were at home I would download the photos from our great week with Stephen's sister and her boys. I will still do that - someday.
Oh how good this tea latte tastes! If only I could be browsing Christmas cookie recipes right now instead of having to think about memory and learning. It's almost ironic, isn't it? Me writing about memory?
Husband thinks I'm losing my mind, and he says it's not just because I'm pregnant. Take last night for instance. I got very little sleep. We're dog sitting for my aunt and uncle and the mutt barked for no reason at 1am, waking me up. At 2am Connor woke up crying because he couldn't find the tissue that he had with him in bed. Upon further inspection we realized it's because said mutt had chewed them all up and spit them out in balls on the end of his bed. Oh - and while he was at it, he ate (and I mean ate - not chewed) Kirby's shoe and Connor's favorite stuffed dog. After the cleanup on aisle 6, I tucked Connor back into bed and fell back asleep. I woke with a start at 2:35am when Husband's phone let out one teeny little beep (I sleep very lightly). Thinking I heard the dog chewing on something again, I got up to discover that all of the lights were out. I then realized that the lights were out in the entire neighborhood. It is both eerie and peaceful to see your daily surroundings completely unlit. Our lives are so filled with noise and light, that it is not until every appliance's digital face goes dark, and every street light is out, that we can see what true darkness and peace really is.
After inspecting the rest of the darkened neighborhood through our windows, I grabbed a flashlight and headed back to bed, where my mind began to churn.
"Why is the whole neighborhood out of power? What's going on? Surely just a car accident knocked out a power line somewhere. But what if it's a terrorist attack and they've knocked out the grid so we are left blind and helpless? It could be a mass crime spree. Maybe someone knocked out the grid so they could disarm a whole neighborhood's alarm systems and move house to house in a Manson-style killing spree. No wait! Maybe they just want to rob us house by house and if we cooperate, we'll be fine. Hmmm...maybe the government took out the grid for reasons that I can't even imagine!"
I went back to sleep, exhaustion finally overcoming my imagination. Then, woke up when the dog started trying to bark again (I say trying because by this time, we had put the bark collar on him) and the resorted to growling. This time I woke up husband and asked him, "All the lights are out in the neighborhood and Koda's barking. Do you think he's trying to tell us something?"
To which he replied, "Lassie! Lassie! Run to the well!"
He humored me by doing a quick once-over of the house, then we went back to sleep. At 4:30 Kirby woke us up screaming that his door was closed (this was to keep the dog from eating anything else) and it was pitch black. As I explained that all the lights in the neighborhood were out, they suddenly kicked back on, re-illuminating the boys' pumpkin lights that wrap around their bunk bed to serve as a night light. "Wow, it's magic!" Kirby exclaimed as Husband and I climbed back into bed.
I'm happy to report that we slept uninterrupted until 8am, but that sleep was hard won. As we kicked around the kitchen, Husband making coffee and I making biscuits and gravy, the punishment began.
"Just what did you think had happened last night? I can't believe you woke me up to ask me if Koda was trying to tell us something!" Husband teased.
When I tried to explain all the scenarios that I had laid in bed imagining, he burst out laughing and proclaimed me a "piece of work". Let's just say he doesn't mean that in the Michaelangelo sort of way either. There was some muttering about "crazy", more laughing, and a hug and kiss.
"Now we know where Connor gets his imagination!" he said. Still, his eyes were twinkling. I love it when his eyes twinkle - especially for me. It's one of the ways I know how loved I am.
If I were at home I would download the photos from our great week with Stephen's sister and her boys. I will still do that - someday.
Oh how good this tea latte tastes! If only I could be browsing Christmas cookie recipes right now instead of having to think about memory and learning. It's almost ironic, isn't it? Me writing about memory?
Husband thinks I'm losing my mind, and he says it's not just because I'm pregnant. Take last night for instance. I got very little sleep. We're dog sitting for my aunt and uncle and the mutt barked for no reason at 1am, waking me up. At 2am Connor woke up crying because he couldn't find the tissue that he had with him in bed. Upon further inspection we realized it's because said mutt had chewed them all up and spit them out in balls on the end of his bed. Oh - and while he was at it, he ate (and I mean ate - not chewed) Kirby's shoe and Connor's favorite stuffed dog. After the cleanup on aisle 6, I tucked Connor back into bed and fell back asleep. I woke with a start at 2:35am when Husband's phone let out one teeny little beep (I sleep very lightly). Thinking I heard the dog chewing on something again, I got up to discover that all of the lights were out. I then realized that the lights were out in the entire neighborhood. It is both eerie and peaceful to see your daily surroundings completely unlit. Our lives are so filled with noise and light, that it is not until every appliance's digital face goes dark, and every street light is out, that we can see what true darkness and peace really is.
After inspecting the rest of the darkened neighborhood through our windows, I grabbed a flashlight and headed back to bed, where my mind began to churn.
"Why is the whole neighborhood out of power? What's going on? Surely just a car accident knocked out a power line somewhere. But what if it's a terrorist attack and they've knocked out the grid so we are left blind and helpless? It could be a mass crime spree. Maybe someone knocked out the grid so they could disarm a whole neighborhood's alarm systems and move house to house in a Manson-style killing spree. No wait! Maybe they just want to rob us house by house and if we cooperate, we'll be fine. Hmmm...maybe the government took out the grid for reasons that I can't even imagine!"
I went back to sleep, exhaustion finally overcoming my imagination. Then, woke up when the dog started trying to bark again (I say trying because by this time, we had put the bark collar on him) and the resorted to growling. This time I woke up husband and asked him, "All the lights are out in the neighborhood and Koda's barking. Do you think he's trying to tell us something?"
To which he replied, "Lassie! Lassie! Run to the well!"
He humored me by doing a quick once-over of the house, then we went back to sleep. At 4:30 Kirby woke us up screaming that his door was closed (this was to keep the dog from eating anything else) and it was pitch black. As I explained that all the lights in the neighborhood were out, they suddenly kicked back on, re-illuminating the boys' pumpkin lights that wrap around their bunk bed to serve as a night light. "Wow, it's magic!" Kirby exclaimed as Husband and I climbed back into bed.
I'm happy to report that we slept uninterrupted until 8am, but that sleep was hard won. As we kicked around the kitchen, Husband making coffee and I making biscuits and gravy, the punishment began.
"Just what did you think had happened last night? I can't believe you woke me up to ask me if Koda was trying to tell us something!" Husband teased.
When I tried to explain all the scenarios that I had laid in bed imagining, he burst out laughing and proclaimed me a "piece of work". Let's just say he doesn't mean that in the Michaelangelo sort of way either. There was some muttering about "crazy", more laughing, and a hug and kiss.
"Now we know where Connor gets his imagination!" he said. Still, his eyes were twinkling. I love it when his eyes twinkle - especially for me. It's one of the ways I know how loved I am.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A Snow Day For All of Us!
Our backyard this morning (and it snowed all day)Ahhhhh...another snow day. I don't know who's more excited, the boys or us. Not only was school cancelled for them (and the entire Denver Metro area), but the University campus is closed, so no class for me tonight either! Husband is blessed to have a job that allows him to work from home on days like this, so we are all hunkered down together enjoying a quiet and relaxing day, which started with biscuits and gravy...yum! (In the spirit of full disclosure, I must say that Kirby, who LOVES my biscuits and gravy, did not appreciate the whole wheat biscuits I made and served today - I couldn't help it, I was out of white flour!)
You know something else that makes this day even more grand? There are no sports on TV in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. Yes, I know the World Series will be back on this evening, but until then, I'm enjoying a house without that ambient hum that a TV makes. I'm listening to Brahms' Requiem, drinking tea from my recliner, and I can hear the boys right outside the window making a snow something-or-other with their dad. Can you tell how content I feel? I'll bet a lot of people are enjoying this day for the same reasons as me.
The Snow BuildersI'll close with these photos of my favorite guys having some fun in the snow. As I watched out the window, I decided that it's not possible to be more in love with someone than I am with my husband as I watch him playing with our boys. They are so lucky to have a dad like him, and I am so lucky to have all of them.
Building a snow ramp
Warming up with hot apple cider
Nothing will relax a guy like a little finger knitting!
Building a snow ramp
Warming up with hot apple cider
Nothing will relax a guy like a little finger knitting!Wednesday, October 28, 2009
No Snow Day for Mom
Today the boys woke up to the most exciting news a kid can get...SNOW DAY!!! Unfortunately, I couldn't stick around long to revel in their happiness because I headed out with Husband this morning to work his company's annual food show. The boys had a wonderful day with Nana (who happened to be at our house to pull last-minute field trip duty, which turned to snow day duty). They played games, stayed in their pj's until 2:30pm and got french toast for lunch! Meanwhile, my day went something like this:
9:00 am - report to food show
9:15 am - find booth that I'm working, note that there is no chair available (I was called very last
minute to work, and said I could only if I could do it seated)
10:00 am - 1st bathroom break; thinking to myself "This may have been a mistake."
11:00 am - still no chair, back is already very stiff and getting quite painful
12:00 pm - Husband to the rescue with a chair! Back KILLING me
12:30 pm - Told I should try to stand up "Whenever the big boss comes around" (translation:
don't sit down)
1:30 pm - Yep. Definitely a mistake (though a fun one!)
2:30 pm - Decided the canned gravy booth is the most boring booth I've worked yet at a
food show
3:00 pm - Thank goodness for all of the great people I ran into. Chatting helped keep my mind
off the fact that I was almost immobile because my back hurt so bad.
3:47 pm - Texted Husband: "Where are you? I'm ready!" (food show ended at 4pm)
4:06 pm - Massaging my swollen ankles in the mini van all the way home
The boys spent the tail end of the day at our friends' The Hermansons, playing with their three girls, and when we arrived to pick them up we were treated to a fabulous dinner. I brought my knitting stuff so that Nicole could refresh my memory and we then had the coziest time I can remember in awhile, as the guys sat in the kitchen chatting and drinking coffee, and Nicole, Emma and I knitted. Emma also taught Kirby to "Finger Knit" (you know you were a child of the 80's if you finger-knitted). It was a peaceful, fun evening as the snow fell right outside the windows and Nicole and I were snuggled up on the couch with happy kids all around us.
Kirby fell in love with finger knitting. Husband was chuckling as we left and Kirby said "Emma, next time I come over I'll bring my yarn and we can knit together!"
The last thing he told me after I kissed him goodnight? "I'm going to dream about finger knitting tonight!"
Can I please be in 1st grade again? Just for a little while?
9:00 am - report to food show
9:15 am - find booth that I'm working, note that there is no chair available (I was called very last
minute to work, and said I could only if I could do it seated)
10:00 am - 1st bathroom break; thinking to myself "This may have been a mistake."
11:00 am - still no chair, back is already very stiff and getting quite painful
12:00 pm - Husband to the rescue with a chair! Back KILLING me
12:30 pm - Told I should try to stand up "Whenever the big boss comes around" (translation:
don't sit down)
1:30 pm - Yep. Definitely a mistake (though a fun one!)
2:30 pm - Decided the canned gravy booth is the most boring booth I've worked yet at a
food show
3:00 pm - Thank goodness for all of the great people I ran into. Chatting helped keep my mind
off the fact that I was almost immobile because my back hurt so bad.
3:47 pm - Texted Husband: "Where are you? I'm ready!" (food show ended at 4pm)
4:06 pm - Massaging my swollen ankles in the mini van all the way home
The boys spent the tail end of the day at our friends' The Hermansons, playing with their three girls, and when we arrived to pick them up we were treated to a fabulous dinner. I brought my knitting stuff so that Nicole could refresh my memory and we then had the coziest time I can remember in awhile, as the guys sat in the kitchen chatting and drinking coffee, and Nicole, Emma and I knitted. Emma also taught Kirby to "Finger Knit" (you know you were a child of the 80's if you finger-knitted). It was a peaceful, fun evening as the snow fell right outside the windows and Nicole and I were snuggled up on the couch with happy kids all around us.
Kirby fell in love with finger knitting. Husband was chuckling as we left and Kirby said "Emma, next time I come over I'll bring my yarn and we can knit together!"
The last thing he told me after I kissed him goodnight? "I'm going to dream about finger knitting tonight!"
Can I please be in 1st grade again? Just for a little while?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Fall Fun
Kirby and Connor enjoy an 80 degree day at the pumpkin patch.Whew! This past weekend was a doozie! Husband and I put on our big boy & big girl pants (respectively) and turned down tickets to the Wyoming vs. Air Force game to stay home and get some projects done. In the end, it was a good thing because UW lost big-time, and we were very productive. The beautiful 80 degree weather we enjoyed all weekend made for three great soccer games and a nice trip to the pumpkin patch; and all of our outside work seemed a lot more fun.
Okay, let me be straight with you...I didn't really do outside work. I took on more of a "director" role, walking around from flower bed to flower bed, pointing out what needed to be pruned or cut back, and how to do it. In addition to gardening, husband also did the final lawn mow and blew out the sprinklers. I spent much of the day in the kitchen puttering and having a hard time staying organized, so that my favorite fall meal (cabbage burgers and cheesy potatoes) took me three times as long as it usually would. However, the cabbage burgers tasted wonderful after a day of work.
Husband removed our old, failing dishwasher and replaced it with a new one that my sister and her husband happened to have on hand and not be using. For quite some time now I've been a real snob about having mismatched appliances - we hate our bisque appliances, but can't afford (and don't need) to replace them all at once, so there was a big debate about whether or not to accept the free black dishwasher. In the end, frugality and practicality won out. This will tend to happen when you're dealing with the amount of home/vehicle/electronic and appliance repairs we've been dealing with lately. At any rate, it turns out I love how the black looks, and when other appliances need to be replaced, that is the direction we will go!
Husband puts the finishing touches on the dishwasher...did I mention he also had to do a little mold remediation?
It seems our old dishwasher had been leaking and we didn't know it!
The fact that whoever built this house didn't finish the hardwood
floor underneath didn't help either. Can you say moldy sub floor?
I'm also quite proud of the little bit of crafting I did this weekend. I used to craft a lot in high school and college, and found that since I've been married with children, I have rarely done anything crafty. I had so much fun making these ghosts, which I found on one of my favorite blogs, Fly Through Our Window. The craftsmanship involved is not really what I'm proud of - they're felt and were assembled entirely with fabric glue - but it's the fact that I actually followed through with it!
Felt ghosts - I even made one for the baby for next year!And finally, it must be said that I have hit the height of nesting. Unfortunately, I am "not a very good pregnant person", as husband says (and this is a fair statement - I'm really not. If you know me well you know my issues, and in addition I've had terrible back pain during this pregnancy and extremely low blood pressure which makes me feel fluttery and get really quickly out of breath). So, my nesting has to rely on the charity of others, which is very very hard. I'm so blessed to have an AMAZING support network. My aunt was here the other day and got started painting the nursery, Husband plowed through everything I asked over the weekend and tonight he vacuumed the entire house (I can't push the vacuum anymore - which drives me nuts!), and this morning, my little cleaning fairy (more like angel) came. TGFM - Thank God For Mom! While she cleaned today, I was able to get a couple of organizational projects done. Check this out...
Contents of junk drawer, emptied onto table...
I had put this project off far too long!
Contents of junk drawer, emptied onto table...
The junk drawer after a huge amount of purging -plus I found our museum membership card,
four free skating passes, and several gift cards!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
R & R For the Whole Family
This past weekend was a four-day weekend for us, with the boys off school Friday and Monday. Our whole family (and by whole family I mean my sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, mom, etc.) headed to the Western Slope to enjoy a quiet, scenic weekend at my sister's employer's ranch. We had a wonderful time hiking, horseback riding, having a campfire, playing games, and laughing together. Okay, I laughed and played games (and studied some), Husband and the boys did the rest! The boys and their cousin were in heaven as they got to run, climb fences, jump on the trampoline and hang out with the ranch keeper's son. Truly, I was given a glimpse of how I think all boys are supposed to live. It's a shame our lives are so compacted now, and our sons are expected to do most of their exploring and playing in confined spaces. We are grateful to my sister for making the trip possible and we so appreciate her employer's generosity.
With the close of our weekend came Connor's realization that he had to go back to school. He's really done great with school so far, but on Monday night when he kissed Husband goodnight, he said, "Goodnight Daddy, I'm not going to school tomorrow!" Hoping he'd forget about it, we both put on our sunniest faces yesterday morning as we greeted him and tried to help him get ready. He began his day complaining of a headache and mentioning over and over (and over) that he did not want to go to school. Remember, this is the child who tried to fake sick through the entire year of preschool last year! Bearing that in mind, I packed him off to school. About 30 minutes into the day I got a call from his teacher saying he was crying and said his head hurt and he wanted to go home. I assured her of his ability to con his way out of school and we agreed to talk later. When we spoke 2 hours later, she told me she thought I was right - that Connor was faking sick in order to go home. You've never met a kid who loves being at home more than him. I suppose I should take it as a compliment!
When I picked the boys up for school he was a bit lethargic, and didn't act as happy to see me as a boy who had spent the whole day trying to get home should act. As a reward for making it through the day, I drove the boys to a local clinic to get their flu shots (okay, I must admit that I felt really mean about doing this to Connor). On a whim I asked the nurse to take his temp and lo and behold - a fever of almost 101! The poor kid hadn't been faking it at all! So today I am spending the day at home with a little boy who is missing a field trip that he had really been looking forward to. The thing is, I think he's happier being at home sick than he is even going on a field trip - even with a fever, sore throat and headache! I'm sure that will change if he has to get a throat culture or his nose swabbed at the doctor's office!
I can't lie; I'm glad for the day at home, just as I was when Kirby was sick last month. Connor doesn't seem miserable, and it's one of those grey, chilly fall days where it just feels good to hunker down in a cozy house and study (yes, study). I will spend today catching up on the two assignments that are due tomorrow (yikes!) and making my little guy feel special...but not so special that he never wants to go back to school!
The boys and their cousin show off their big find during the weekend- a horse skeleton.
As you can imagine, they now consider themselves paleontologists...
never mind the fact that we're pretty sure it's not a prehistoric horse!
With the close of our weekend came Connor's realization that he had to go back to school. He's really done great with school so far, but on Monday night when he kissed Husband goodnight, he said, "Goodnight Daddy, I'm not going to school tomorrow!" Hoping he'd forget about it, we both put on our sunniest faces yesterday morning as we greeted him and tried to help him get ready. He began his day complaining of a headache and mentioning over and over (and over) that he did not want to go to school. Remember, this is the child who tried to fake sick through the entire year of preschool last year! Bearing that in mind, I packed him off to school. About 30 minutes into the day I got a call from his teacher saying he was crying and said his head hurt and he wanted to go home. I assured her of his ability to con his way out of school and we agreed to talk later. When we spoke 2 hours later, she told me she thought I was right - that Connor was faking sick in order to go home. You've never met a kid who loves being at home more than him. I suppose I should take it as a compliment!
When I picked the boys up for school he was a bit lethargic, and didn't act as happy to see me as a boy who had spent the whole day trying to get home should act. As a reward for making it through the day, I drove the boys to a local clinic to get their flu shots (okay, I must admit that I felt really mean about doing this to Connor). On a whim I asked the nurse to take his temp and lo and behold - a fever of almost 101! The poor kid hadn't been faking it at all! So today I am spending the day at home with a little boy who is missing a field trip that he had really been looking forward to. The thing is, I think he's happier being at home sick than he is even going on a field trip - even with a fever, sore throat and headache! I'm sure that will change if he has to get a throat culture or his nose swabbed at the doctor's office!
I can't lie; I'm glad for the day at home, just as I was when Kirby was sick last month. Connor doesn't seem miserable, and it's one of those grey, chilly fall days where it just feels good to hunker down in a cozy house and study (yes, study). I will spend today catching up on the two assignments that are due tomorrow (yikes!) and making my little guy feel special...but not so special that he never wants to go back to school!
The boys and their cousin show off their big find during the weekend- a horse skeleton.
As you can imagine, they now consider themselves paleontologists...
never mind the fact that we're pretty sure it's not a prehistoric horse!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Redeemed
For all of my teacher and former teacher friends who promised me that not all sub jobs would be like the third ring of hell...thank you! I've been redeemed. I had a perfectly delightful afternoon at a local high school yesterday. While this high school may be in a very low socio-economic bracket, its students were kind, respectful, and fun. I definitely walked out of the school feeling better than I did when I went in. Next week, I spend 3 days subbing for my friend in his middle school class for kids with severe cognitive needs. I'm really looking forward to it!
In other news, I finished a class last night. I'm down to 8 weeks left of my other class, and then my final class in the spring. I can taste this degree now!
Today Husband and I head to Nebraska with our favorite four year-old to attend the funeral of our friend's dad. As anyone can attest, funerals are never fun, but I know it will be good to see some people that I haven't seen in many years, and to show support for our friends. I also love the thought of a fall drive through the Nebraska panhandle! If you haven't done it, you may think I'm crazy, but anyone who is from there knows what I'm talking about. Kirby will stay here to play his soccer game today and spend some time with Nana and his aunties. I guess you know your kid is getting grown up when he doesn't mind being left behind (I was prepped for an argument!).
In other news, I finished a class last night. I'm down to 8 weeks left of my other class, and then my final class in the spring. I can taste this degree now!
Today Husband and I head to Nebraska with our favorite four year-old to attend the funeral of our friend's dad. As anyone can attest, funerals are never fun, but I know it will be good to see some people that I haven't seen in many years, and to show support for our friends. I also love the thought of a fall drive through the Nebraska panhandle! If you haven't done it, you may think I'm crazy, but anyone who is from there knows what I'm talking about. Kirby will stay here to play his soccer game today and spend some time with Nana and his aunties. I guess you know your kid is getting grown up when he doesn't mind being left behind (I was prepped for an argument!).
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Gramma's Gone
After nearly two weeks of spoiling and fun, Gramma (Husband's mom) is headed back to New Jersey today. Before driving herself to the airport, she made one final shuttle run for us, dropping the boys off at school for what will be the last time until she returns in December.
"Thanks" does not even begin to express how much I - we - appreciate all that Gramma does. For 13 days she put up with my failing memory and my physical complaints, she kept our house sparkly clean, did ALL my laundry...do you have any idea how nice it is to have someone do all of your laundry? She was always cheerful, and ready to go anywhere any of us suggested. She attended soccer practices and listened to violin practice. She dropped off and picked up from school every day I worked (which was nearly every day she was here), made sure homework was done, and took the kids to the park (a rare treat, believe me).
When I say that I don't take for granted what a wonderful mother-in-law I have, I'm not just talking about all of those things I listed. I'm also blessed that my husband's mother accepts me for who I am, supports and validates me, encourages both of us in our parenting, is genuinely friends with my side of the family and loves me like I've always been a part of hers. Typing this, I get a little misty-eyed, as I always do when it's time for her to leave.
Thanks for everything Jane - I love you too!
Gramma and her little buddy enjoy a game of "Soccer Guys"
"Thanks" does not even begin to express how much I - we - appreciate all that Gramma does. For 13 days she put up with my failing memory and my physical complaints, she kept our house sparkly clean, did ALL my laundry...do you have any idea how nice it is to have someone do all of your laundry? She was always cheerful, and ready to go anywhere any of us suggested. She attended soccer practices and listened to violin practice. She dropped off and picked up from school every day I worked (which was nearly every day she was here), made sure homework was done, and took the kids to the park (a rare treat, believe me).
When I say that I don't take for granted what a wonderful mother-in-law I have, I'm not just talking about all of those things I listed. I'm also blessed that my husband's mother accepts me for who I am, supports and validates me, encourages both of us in our parenting, is genuinely friends with my side of the family and loves me like I've always been a part of hers. Typing this, I get a little misty-eyed, as I always do when it's time for her to leave.
Thanks for everything Jane - I love you too!
Gramma and her little buddy enjoy a game of "Soccer Guys"Saturday, September 5, 2009
We're Still Here
Over the past few days, my creativity has been stifled by our busy schedule. (Isn't that just the story with most moms?) Anyway, my mother-in-law arrived Tuesday and is here for a 2 week stay. It's always fun for us when Gramma comes to visit. For me, it's an extra excuse to ease up on the house work, and take some time to just sit and visit (of course, I'm not going to lie - I so appreciate the extra hand on the laundry and housework that I get when she's here). For the boys it means treats and snacks they don't normally get, and Gramma always comes with little goodies. We also like to use it as an excuse to go out to eat.
This trip, poor Gramma is spending a lot of time by herself, as the boys are in school all day and I'm working a part-time job. I lucked into a spot working for some Ph.D. students who are researching a particular strategy for teaching reading. For the entire month of September, I will go to a different middle school every week and spend the whole day testing 7th and 8th graders. It goes without saying that this easy money. My hourly pay adds up to what I would make subbing, and I also get paid for my mileage. And, while the job is a bit boring, it is good experience to add to my resume, as I've learned to administer 5 new standardized tests, and I'm getting a chance to work with middle-schoolers (who, by the way, I really am enjoying).
I continue to get bigger each day. I love it when other moms try to guess just how pregnant I am. I am inevitably placed somewhere between "7 or 8 months" and "must be getting close...". Don't I wish! With fully 3 1/2 months to go, I have a hunch this could be the biggest baby to come down the Federocko pipeline yet. And, he's quite active. I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to "Babywise" him in-utero so that he'll come out on a normal schedule. Because right now, I'm a wee bit concerned at his late-late-night activity patterns!
This trip, poor Gramma is spending a lot of time by herself, as the boys are in school all day and I'm working a part-time job. I lucked into a spot working for some Ph.D. students who are researching a particular strategy for teaching reading. For the entire month of September, I will go to a different middle school every week and spend the whole day testing 7th and 8th graders. It goes without saying that this easy money. My hourly pay adds up to what I would make subbing, and I also get paid for my mileage. And, while the job is a bit boring, it is good experience to add to my resume, as I've learned to administer 5 new standardized tests, and I'm getting a chance to work with middle-schoolers (who, by the way, I really am enjoying).
I continue to get bigger each day. I love it when other moms try to guess just how pregnant I am. I am inevitably placed somewhere between "7 or 8 months" and "must be getting close...". Don't I wish! With fully 3 1/2 months to go, I have a hunch this could be the biggest baby to come down the Federocko pipeline yet. And, he's quite active. I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to "Babywise" him in-utero so that he'll come out on a normal schedule. Because right now, I'm a wee bit concerned at his late-late-night activity patterns!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Words Mean So Much
On the way to school the past couple of days, I've heard a couple of interesting things:
Connor (during morning prayers): "And God, please help all the sick people in the world to stay away from us so we don't get sick."
Last I heard, he was praying that God would help all the sick people in the world get better. I guess with age comes cynicism?
Kirby (while listening to Billy Joel's song, The Entertainer): "Mom, how come we sing, 'I've played all kinds of palaces, SEEN all kids of girls', and he says 'I've played all kinds of palaces, LAID all kinds of girls?"
I should probably explain. The boys LOVE this song - I think because of it's funky, outer-space-sounding keyboard lines. We've been singing along to this song heavy-duty for the past couple of weeks, with the boys constantly asking me to "play it again". I thought if I simply sang loud enough, and added gestures implying that Billy Joel has, in fact, "SEEN all kinds of girls" (that would be the universal hand gesture for binoculars), the boys would never notice. Perhaps that was a bit naive.
I told Kirby: "That's just another very rude, very grown-up way of saying that he's seen a lot of girls when he's been traveling the world. It's not something to be repeated at school, and if I catch you singing his rude adult word, then we're not going to be able to listen to the song anymore, okay?"
To which he replied: "Uh, so when he says 'what the HELL, you know it's just as well...' we should probably just say HECK like we have been right?"
I think he got my point. I'm going to have to scan the rest of the CD - I'm not sure I want him asking what "Come out Virginia, don't make me wait, you Catholic girls start much too late" means either!
Connor (during morning prayers): "And God, please help all the sick people in the world to stay away from us so we don't get sick."
Last I heard, he was praying that God would help all the sick people in the world get better. I guess with age comes cynicism?
Kirby (while listening to Billy Joel's song, The Entertainer): "Mom, how come we sing, 'I've played all kinds of palaces, SEEN all kids of girls', and he says 'I've played all kinds of palaces, LAID all kinds of girls?"
I should probably explain. The boys LOVE this song - I think because of it's funky, outer-space-sounding keyboard lines. We've been singing along to this song heavy-duty for the past couple of weeks, with the boys constantly asking me to "play it again". I thought if I simply sang loud enough, and added gestures implying that Billy Joel has, in fact, "SEEN all kinds of girls" (that would be the universal hand gesture for binoculars), the boys would never notice. Perhaps that was a bit naive.
I told Kirby: "That's just another very rude, very grown-up way of saying that he's seen a lot of girls when he's been traveling the world. It's not something to be repeated at school, and if I catch you singing his rude adult word, then we're not going to be able to listen to the song anymore, okay?"
To which he replied: "Uh, so when he says 'what the HELL, you know it's just as well...' we should probably just say HECK like we have been right?"
I think he got my point. I'm going to have to scan the rest of the CD - I'm not sure I want him asking what "Come out Virginia, don't make me wait, you Catholic girls start much too late" means either!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Life's Abiding Friendships
Though my life has changed over the past 17 years, there is one thing that hasn't: my friendship with the incredible women above. Many (many) hours were spent in college poring over music, rehearsing shows, studying, crying over some dumb guy - or trying to figure out how to get the guy, laughing together, eating together (okay, drinking together). We know each other's parents, siblings, family histories, and worst of all, dating histories! Our conversations now center much more around our children, husbands, ex-husbands, jobs, and the joys and sorrows of our lives as adults. As our dear friend Shayne told me just recently, "You live life deeply; and you may get hurt doing it, but I know you wouldn't have it any other way".
My Centennial Singers friends, whom I met the week before my freshman year of college started, are a group of people who live life deeply. They love deeply, laugh deeply, and live life - and all of its trials - with a deep committment to God and their true selves. This is what is hard to find in life. This is why we are still so close today. It is why we can reconcile who we were 15 years ago with who we are now and find not contradiction, but growth in spirit and in self.
I love these people madly, and was blessed to have about 15 of them (plus spouses and children) in our home this past weekend. We came together from Tennessee, Texas, Arizona, Connecticut and all over Colorado. Our children had the time of their lives, and we grew up a little as we turned the performing over to them. And, "I don't want to name any names, but Laurel Peterson Wicke..." was deeply missed, in true Singers fashion.
Turning it over to the next generation:
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